Who Am I??

Delhi->hyd->Pune, India
An environmental engg turned Software Engg working for a MNC. U cn call me Peenuts..thats what my long lost frend used 2 call me, and its in his memory.

2/10/08

the Autumn Story

Written By Autumn herself.

‘Days of gold
Nights of fire
Autumn does my love inspire’

This is how I ended up being Autumn. ‘X’ years back, one dry summer afternoon in Delhi, Pushkin Gupta met me for the first time. And decided to never meet me again.


“Autumn was too depressing. She was one girl who had absolutely no hope in life. He just could not imagine her happy. N the thought that he could not help her, made him avoid her. She had a rub off effect on him.”

Every time he came to Delhi, he avoided me. But we chatted through net. His mails had innocent efforts to make me smile, in those horrendously painful days. And I did. I did smile. A smile that I attach incalculable value to. I can’t make him smile that way ever.

He did not know what he was doing, and how Autumn valued it. He kept avoiding me.

And then destiny had different plans. He got a job and I got into a media management course. Both landed in Pune.
We met. We talked. And became good friends.

“Autumn I knew earlier, was completely different from the Autumn I know now. You are a completely differently person.”

Today almost everyone thinks we are seeing each other. My friends (not the close ones), his close friends, his Ma, his sis, all think so. Wearing string boards around our necks that ‘we are not going around’ is the only solution to it ; )

Previously, he did something unconsciously that I valued so much. This time it was me. The care that I showed for him is something that I’d do for anyone who’s so close. But he values it. And ever since he’s been trying to help me. I don’t believe he’s ready to take so much hurt for me.
Not a single day goes without fighting. I don’t even realize when I hurt him. And he takes all of this with a hope that one day I’ll be fine one day. He’s treating me with a lot of patience and every time I give up, he calls it his failure.

Pata nahi main ye kar paungi ya nahi ? pata nahi main ye karna chahti bhi hun ya nahi ?
I consciously chose this life for myself. Doing what he says is like fighting my own, conscious, well thought decisions. But being his friend I don’t want to be his failure.

He says I have sexy conversation skills. But I am short of words today. What he’s doing at this point of time for me, will come back to him in life, multiplied.
I wish he gets everything he wants in life.

4 comments:

Peenuts said...

Hey know wht..its not just u, who s short of words :) :)

And i hope all ths i am doing comes back 2 me, multiplied.......in the form of autumn...the way i want her to be.....May b as Megha said...i am being two 'forceful', or as u say 'too narrow minded', but my gut feelin says, ths s something i shudnt giv up on...and so i HOPE ..Amen

MM said...

yea well, hope is the only way to lead a better life ... :)

glad that u n autumn have found good friends in each other ....

bless u ...

n this piece is beautifully written!

MM

Shankha said...

Hi

Sorry for replying so late. Was caught up with other things and didnt get time.

So, How did ur interviews go? Do tell me what was asked.

This post of yours was good...but half the things went tangentially...maybe coz i dont know who u r.

Neway, will visit ur blog regularly.

keep posting!!

Shankha.

divya said...

i am sure he will get everything back for i believe ..someone somewhere keeps a little accont book and when people gift joy they get alot more in return..thats life!!

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