Who Am I??

Delhi->hyd->Pune, India
An environmental engg turned Software Engg working for a MNC. U cn call me Peenuts..thats what my long lost frend used 2 call me, and its in his memory.



Got my appraisal rating (in the new company) a few days back. Was told that I ‘exceeded expectations’ and hence got a rating of 4 (best being 5). How does that make me feel?

Over the last two cycles (which happened in my previous company) I was told that I was not upto the mark. I was given a pathetic 4% hike last year and the justification given by my manager was that though I was good, I was not exceeding his expectations. For the last two cycles my abilities were doubted upon, questions were raised about my ‘work attitude’. For the last 3 yrs I kept on  questioning myself, whether I was good enough, my belief having been completely shattered and I just held by the string of faith.

For the last 3 yrs I have been trying to prove my critics wrong, to prove to myself that I am good enough. During this time there were endless ‘ends’ when I felt like giving up..not just on this industry and profession, but life as well..there were several times when I imagined getting hit by a car, crushed by a train and much more..but thankfully the string of faith held good.

So how does being told that I have ‘exceeded expectations’ make me feel? I feel Vindicated.


How do we know said...


Peenuts said...

Thank u :)

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