Who Am I??

Delhi->hyd->Pune, India
An environmental engg turned Software Engg working for a MNC. U cn call me Peenuts..thats what my long lost frend used 2 call me, and its in his memory.


The Problem gets BIGGER!!!

I have set myself a target – a target to change my personality, in a positive way, by this year (2009) end. Two months down, I am failing terribly in achieveing it.

Here s wht happens:

Something pisses me off, I get pissed off.. As Anu suggested..i shud remain silent at that time, do nothing, walk out of the situation..
This is something I am able to do (30-40% times).
So I walk away in silence, and set myself ‘n’ hrs..thinking ki itney time key aandar to wo mujhe manaa hi lega (may b this s my desperation to feel important – just cant seem to have enough of it) .. and often..that doesn’t happen..and I just blast off…the anger is so much ki I get physically abusive.
80% of time the person at other end rarely makes an attempt to sort out of my anger..i keep on waiting, and as time passes by my anger grows, and the meltdown has disastrous consequences.
I consulted my mom about this situation – she suggested..try talking to urself, reason urself out..this is wht anu says as well..but this doesn’t work…jab gussa baad jataa hai to I feel like..bhaad main jaye reasoning, jo hona hai ho jaye.
The second solution she suggested-See a psychiatrist..now that was disappointing..i was hoping for some more home made remedies.
People around me have tried to help me out on this, with zero percent success. Abhi to this problem is confined to people near and dear to me, wht worries me more is that wht if this spills out..in ofc, with others..tab kya.
This is a sincere post..the issue is big, and I am unable to handle it on my own…so m requesting for ur sincere solutions/comments.
Thanks in advance.

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