The Restless Mind

There is one thing i dont feel like living without, and this one thing wont let me live either...its my tendency to get 'comfortable' with my close ones....infact i become so comfortable that main kuch bhi bak deta hoon..bina sochey...that i forget whether i m talking to a girl or a guy...bas apney bindass pan main haad paar kar jaata hoon.
Vidhu said ki mujhe koi activity pursue karni chahiye..it wil keep me busy and i wont think so much...and that ki mujhe bolney sey pehley sochna chahiye...autumn says i shud stop being kiddish...par this bachpana is my driving force...thats keep up my spirit even after so many numerous failures. I dont want to grow up..kyunki i fear once i do so...i wil become like my dad...resign myself to fate....
But is bachpan key saath bhi nahi ji paa raha...there ws a time when autumn dint use to hide any of her feeling from me..now she rarely expresses any...kyunki i fail to understand her..apney bachpaney main m unable to see depth of her problems...i hope i can be of help to her..i really want to....

Kehtey hain 'vinashkaley vipreet budhi'..shayad m standing at steps of my bad times..isliye m failing to understand things which people are sayin..for my better...

Ofc main bhi things r not goin gud...feel like quitting and going away..kahan pata nahi..some days back i was talking to PP....uski life bhi is goin no better...we were talking abt long term planning, ki mainey bola 'present to sudhar, future ki baad main sochiyo'..wo bola.....i m just tryin to see the light at the end of the tunnel..kyunki yahan bahut andhera hai...

Hav my SPj -Dubai interview this Sunday..and m not prepared at all..confidence ki dhajjiyan udi hui hain...bas going there hoping ki some miracle will get me thru..GMAT bhi isi umeed main diya tha...but nothin like that happened..got 690 (as expected)..and hence FAILED to achieve my target (of 730)...sahi kehtey hai koi..m a loser...